my new squeeze..an examintation of my relationship with the bald guy with the white t-shirt and one earring

clean.
the word brings up a complex set of feelings for me.
i understand the concept..but have never quite embraced the practice.
if cleanliness is next to Godliness, i'm in a world of poop.
cleaning was something my grandmother embraced.
get out of her way..she was a machine!
she threw things out without a thought. if it was in her way, it was gone!

i've always seen cleaning as a punishment of sorts.
something cinderella had to do because she was the stepchild!

when that little poster came out in the 80's that said
" A clean desk is the sign of a sick mind" i was happy as a pig in..well... you know.
l felt understood..vindicated.
now i was sane and the neat freaks were the crazy ones.

i've matured now and realize nobody is right or wrong, sane or insane..
it's just what you can live with and how you choose to spend your time.

with each new year i vow to get rid of stuff and organize my life.
it's never happened.
this year it might.
i have more time.
and a different perspective..cleaning and getting rid of stuff will free me!

yesterday i went to the store for M&Ms and syrup and came home with many, many dollars worth of other stuff ..including Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. four boxes of them. they were on sale.
my sister-in-law jen told me about these things years ago..she swore by them.
she was right.
these suckers live up to their name. THEY ARE PURE MAGIC.
if i wasn't so proud i would include "before and after" pictures involving my bathtub,
but i just can't.
after years of trying to get rid of this crud in my tub, years of abrasives and all the elbow grease i could muster, including help from a battery powered scrubber, the only thing that cut through this crud was the Magic Eraser.
No elbow grease at all. Just a gentle back and forth motion, and years of junk started disappearing.
MAGIC.
It was so addicting that i began cleaning other stubborn surfaces with the same result. The hint of mold on the bathroom ceiling..gone. The soap scum on the tile..gone.
i had to hold myself back from putting the thing in my mouth and trying to polish the stained enamel on my teeth....so much easier and cheaper than white strips!
MAGIC is so rare in life!
Magic is FUN!
Mr. Clean, who used to scare the bejesus out of me as a kid, was now the object of my passionate
obsession.
After cleaning the bathroom and brushing my teeth the right way...a kernel of doubt crept in to this blissful love fest.
WHY does this stuff work so well?
It is so strong and powerful..it must be toxic. Was Mr. Clean not the lovable guy i was coming to think he was? Was he really a dangerous guy that i should avoid, no matter how much pleasure he brought me?

i went downstairs to find the packaging.
there were warnings about keeping out of the reach of children.
there were warnings about direct contact with skin.
What was missing was the list of INGREDIENTS!
My heart sank. that could not be good.
so now i'm left to do my homework.
i'm afraid i'll get on the Internet and find stories of
just how nasty these magic pads are.
and then i'll be faced with a sad choice. clean or green.
will i have to breakup with a man that has brought me so much satisfaction?
i can't bear to find out.