my own master card commercial

anti aging facial :

$150.00

botox injection:

$375.00

laser resurfacing :

$1,250.00

laughing at your laugh lines:

priceless

good news /bad news

the bad news is that global warming seems to be taking hold of the planet.
the good news is that this winter will be warmer and drier than usual. and that means i will (theoretically) hate my job less than usual in the months of december through march.
global warming : bad
increased job satisfaction: good.

so now i am faced with yet another in a never ending stream of moral dilemmas.
what size should my carbon footprint be?
small enough to not destroy the planet
but large enough to ensure an ever so slightly more comfortable winter.
better talk to al gore about this one.

fantasy vs. reality

a very minor magical tiny little miracle..but still

there's nothing worse than having to spend money on something that has to be done, but you can't see...like a new roof or a prefunctory car repair. when i spend money i want to see it in action...like an utterly comfortable yet attractive new piece of furniture..or a geeky/sexy vintage looking motorbike (yes, i'm still on that kick).
so when the toilet in our powder room started acting up 6 months ago..the first plan of action was to tinker with it.shaking and adjusting all the things i could think of . sadly, that didn't work.
next came phase two: ignore it and hope that it would stop on it's own. that didn't work either.
it was becoming a real nuisance . something had to be done.
i went to the last card in my hand: threatening it with a visit from the plumber.
last night at dinner my son told me that the toilet fixed itself! and today it's STILL fixed.
just call me the toilet whisperer.
next issue: what to buy with the money i saved on that call to the plumber?
better yet, maybe i can make a business out of talking to people's appliances and undercutting the cost of having a professional do the job.
think i might have to move to california to start up that biz.

Vespa-rate housewives

so much for trying not to be materialistic.
i fell head over heels yesterday for a red retro looking Vespa.
i have convinced myself that buying one is the only responsible thing for me to do, what with global warming and all.
60 miles to a gallon.
it's a beautiful thing.
mentioned it to a few people.
all agreed i would meet an untimely death ("pretty soon mom you'll be looking up at us" jonah assured me, implying that i will end up in God's basement. "and you'll look like a geek riding that thing" added john).
but sometimes a woman's got to do what a women's got to do.
"you can't spend our college fund money on that mom".
what college fund???
stay tuned.

Adultitis..get the facts

Stop whatever you're doing..well keep reading this first..then check out my new link
Escape Adulthood.
Get diagnosed ..see if you have adultitis. ( I do).
Then get help..there is an escape plan. Bless these folks for creating it.
I will share the results of my treatment program with you.
Hopefully i will be more successful than Brit, and Lindsay!

the S word

my children jumped down my throat last week when i casually mentioned buying back to school stuff.
"how can you say that to us?" johnny wanted to know..obviously scarred by my attempt to prepare them for the return to early bedtimes, homework and other unspeakable things.

i get it. i was a kid once.
ok. still am one.
but thinking back.. and this may be another case of revisionist history...i distinctly LIKED going back to school.
loose leaf paper.
new glue.
virgin erasers.
but mostly the CLOTHES.
bell bottom cords.
new track shoes.
NEW NEW NEW!!! STUFF!
clean slate
new teacher to love or hate
never seemed to go down the middle.
maybe a new boy to obssess over.
notes to be passed without being caught.
and somewhere on the list..
learning .
library books to help me mind travel
assignments.
liked that word.
sounded like something secret agents carried out.

september is renewal
more so than january one
life starts over
open your book
pick up your pencil
amd begin